joke time

Kryan Bing

Well-known member
A farmer was standing in his field he was there for days, i shouted to him what the fuck you doing he said he was after an OBE what you talking about you prick i said , he said he heard on the tv you get an OBE for being out standing in your field
:thumbup:
Someone's just literally, sent me the Jethro video of that sketch a few minutes ago...I see if I can upload it.


EDIT:

Here you go.

 
Last edited:

45skiprats

Well-known member
Paddy and Murphy are tramping through the lanes and bye ways looking for work when they come across a pub Paddy who is a bit more savvy than his mate says look Murphy about two miles up the lane is a village where I know a few people and we might find work Could you go up there and see if there is any information on coronovirus and I will wait here Their is no point in both us going OK says Murphy and starts walking 6 hours later he returns drunk as a sack WELL ! says Paddy Well what ? says Murphy Did you get the infomation I asked for ? says paddy OH that be Jesus yes I did I did to be sure I asked every one in the pub and they all said you can be sure their is no one called Connor Virus in the village!
 

Peckham Lion

Well-known member
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she crosses and uncrosses her legs..... Just enough times that her husband finally asks,
"Are you wearing crotchless panties?"
"Y-e-s," she answers with a seductive smile.

"Thank fuck for that” he said -----
“I thought you were sitting on the cat."
 

Peckham Lion

Well-known member
A teacher asks her students to discuss what their dad's do for a living.
Little Mary says, "My dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad people in jail."
Little Jack says, "My dad is a doctor, He makes sick people better."
All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.
The teacher says, "Johnny, what does your Dad do?"
Johnny says, "My Dad is dead.",
" I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?"
"He turned blue and shit on the carpet."