Someone stole my Microsoft Office. I’ll make them pay; you have my Word!
thats a good oneA donkey walks into a bar when he spots a horse at the bar so goes over for a chat. "What do you do for a living then?" asks the donkey. "I'm a racehorse" comes the reply. "Oh right" says the donkey, "have you won any races then?". "Well", says the horse, " on the flat I've won the 2,000 guineas & the derby, & over the jumps I've won the grand national & the cheltenham gold cup". The donkey is impressed & they have a few more drinks, & eventually arrange to meet at the donkeys house a week later for a meal. Before they meet again, the donkey feels a little inferior, what with the horse being so successful & all, so thinks he'll need to impress him when they meet up again. So after a brainwave, he goes out, buys a huge picture of a zebra & gives it pride of place in his home, hanging over the fireplace. When the horse calls round to the donkeys house, he says, "very nice place you have here, who's the zebra in the picture?" The donkey replies "that's not a zebra mate, that's me when I played for Juventus"