After twenty years of marriage, I still love to spoil my wife. When she works late she calls me before leaving the office. I will then run her hot water, stir the bubbles just right so that as soon as she gets in she can start on the dishes.
A robber walks into a bank and shouts "hands up give me all your cash!" A brave customer pulls off the robbers mask and says 'I've seen your face now' so the robber shoots him dead. "Anyone else seen my face says the robber?" Silence for a moment, then someone pipes up, 'l think that fat cunt in the West ham top got a good glimpse'.
Dan was a single fellow living at home with his father, and
working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his
sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with
whom to share his fortune.
One evening at a investment meeting, he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took
his breathe away.
"I may look like just an ordinary fellow" he said to her, " But in
a few years, my father will die and i will inherit £200 million.
Impressed , the woman asked for his business card and three days
later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning then men.